Angel Woliver will never forget the first time her son, Adrian, called her “Mom.”
Adrian, now a senior defensive lineman on the University of Toledo football team, was 13 years old at the time. He and his two younger siblings, Chad (11) and Melanie (9), had been adopted by Angel and her husband (also named Chad) two years earlier. But whereas young Chad and Melanie quickly grew accustomed to calling the new adults in their life “Mom” and “Dad,” Adrian was more circumspect.
Defensive lineman Adrian Woliver poses with his dad, Chad, and his mom, Angel, at his May graduation, when he received his bachelor’s degree in criminal justice.
Angel sympathized with Adrian’s reluctance to take that big step. Adrian was older than Chad and Melanie, after all. He understood more about the perilous situations they had been through together. He had seen a lot, experienced a lot, suffered a lot. More than any child should. And now, despite being in a stable, healthy environment, Adrian still saw himself as the protector of his younger siblings. It was a role Adrian had played most of his life to that point. So it took him a little longer to let go and let someone else be the grown-up.
“Adrian was very protective of his siblings,” Angel said. “He had to learn how to be a kid. There were several times when I had to look at him and say, ‘Honey, you don’t have to worry about them eating, you don’t have to worry about their clothes, because Chad and I have this. I promised him I was going to take really good care of all of the kids, that he didn’t have to be a parent anymore.
“My husband and I were wondering if he ever would call us mom and dad. Then one day, he was on his way out the door catching a ride to football practice and he yelled, ‘Bye Mom,’ and I said bye and the door shut and of course I was freaking out. Later on that night he said, ‘Did you hear what I said when I left?’ I said I did. He said, ‘It just happened. Is it OK?’ I said, ‘Of course, it’s OK.'”
Recalled Adrian, “I didn’t feel totally comfortable saying ‘Mom’ and ‘Dad’ for a while. But something just clicked, and I was like, ‘Oh, this is forever. This is home. They are my mom and dad.’ They were taking care of me, doing everything that moms and dads do, so it felt right to start saying it.”
Angel and Chad officially adopted Adrian, Chad and Melanie on July 25, 2011 (“Christmas in July,” Angel said), after about 18 months as their foster parents. So much has happened since those momentous days. It hasn’t always been smooth sailing, of course, but it’s been a world apart from the turbulent storm that had been the children’s lives prior to their adoption.
Adrian’s birth parents were dealing with personal struggles and were simply not able to handle the responsibility of being parents.
Adrian Woliver
“It was hard,” Adrian recalled of his early childhood. “We were always struggling with having enough food and where were we going to live. I was basically taking care of my brother and sister. I was about 8 years old when social services got involved due to our neglect and malnutrition.”
Adrian and his siblings were living with an aunt when, by sheer happenstance, Angel and Chad came into their lives.
“Down the street from where we were staying, there were these people that we were always going over to their house because there were other kids to play with there,” said Adrian, recalling when he first met the couple that would one day become his parents. “They had four children they were fostering at the time. When those kids went back to their parents, my aunt asked them to take us and foster us for a little bit because she couldn’t do it herself anymore.”
Adrian and Chad moved in with the Wolivers, while Melanie went to live with another family member. Adrian recalls being filled with anxiety that first night in his new foster home.
“They had a mounted deer on the wall. I remember sitting there having no idea what it was,” Adrian said. “I had never seen a deer in my life. It was just staring at me in the eyes. I was thinking, what did I get myself into?”
Ultimately, Adrian and his brother grew to like their new home and foster parents. Six months later, Melanie joined them at the Wolivers. Shortly after that, Angel and Chad told the children they would like to adopt them all. Thus began a process that would lead to their eventual adoption in 2011.
“It was a big thing that they wanted to adopt all of us because usually when you’re in foster care and you get adopted you get split up from your siblings,” Adrian said. “It was huge for us because we had been through some hard situations and didn’t want to be split up. We would all cry when one of us got split up from the others.
“We went through counseling and talked with a judge. I told the judge this was the place that was going to be good for us.”
For the first time in their lives, Adrian, Chad and Melanie had the things most children take for granted — a reliable place to sleep, regular meals and adults who saw to their physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
Not that life was always easy. After years of neglect, moving from house to house among extended family and then in the foster care system, Adrian had some challenges to work through. Understandably, he had some repressed anger and acted out from time to time. He struggled with schoolwork as his years of instability had put him behind his classmates. But day by day, week by week, month by month, things got better. Adrian credits his parents, devout Christians whose faith helped guide their path and inspire the patience required of their new situation. They also had the wisdom to lean on professional counseling for themselves and their new children.
“Just taking in three kids at one time, not knowing anything about raising little kids, it takes a big person with a lot of patience,” said Adrian. “I thank them every day. I love them to death.”
Adrian Woliver and his two younger siblings, Chad and Melanie, were adopted by Angel and her husband, Chad, in 2011.
Adrian eventually became a good student, thanks in part to his new “tiger mom” who advocated for him with school officials as he faced the challenges as a reader with dyslexia. He discovered sports, the perfect outlet for his size and understandable pent-up aggression. The more physical the sport the better, so he wrestled and played football. It was football that really opened up Adrian’s world.
An all-district player at Stow-Munroe Falls High School (located just outside of Kent) Adrian was a bit undersized to play on the defensive line at the Division I level. But the Toledo coaches liked his attitude, work ethic and toughness. Toledo Head Football Coach Jason Candle also was impressed by Adrian’s upbringing. He praised his parents for their role in mentoring and nurturing him. In his position as a football coach, Candle has come across lots of dedicated parents. The Wolivers may be at the top of that list.
“You take on other people’s responsibilities and you put other people consistently before yourself, I think that’s the ultimate sign of being a selfless person,” Candle said. “The selfless mindset they had to have to see this through is pretty amazing. Now they are able to celebrate Adrian’s successes on the football field and his getting a college degree. Watching him finish his journey is probably very rewarding for them, as it should be.
“Adrian is just an awesome story of perseverance. Sometimes young people get a hand dealt to them that’s unfair and unwarranted. He is a shining example of somebody who has taken what could be seen as a negative circumstance and turned it into a positive. He’s come here and become a great student, and a great football player.”
Adrian is nearing the end of his college journey at The University of Toledo. He received his bachelor’s degree in criminal justice last spring. He is in his final season as a Rocket, a year in which both he and the team are thriving like never before. He plays an important role as a reserve and part-time starter on the defensive line of a Toledo team that is 10-1 and has already clinched a spot in the MAC Championship Game, the Rockets’ second consecutive trip to Detroit after winning the title last year. And while he does have dreams of playing in the NFL, Adrian has his feet firmly on the ground. An avid outdoorsman thanks in large part to a passion for hunting and fishing he shares with his father, Adrian has his ultimate sights set on a career working with the department of natural resources.
With a clear life path ahead of him, Adrian is looking forward to a promising future. Though he is never completely removed from his darker childhood days (little things can still trigger negative memories), he is in a very good place right now.
“I sometimes think about what I would be doing now at 24 years old if I hadn’t gone to college or had been adopted by my mom and dad,” Adrian said.
“It makes me think that I have it good right now.”
